The Journey Home: Families: Learning How to Cope with Caregiver Burnout

Learning How to Cope with Caregiver Burnout
Courtesy of the American Cancer Society, Inc. © 2000

When someone is diagnosed with cancer, the patient is not the only one affected. The person responsible for care is also affected. Providing care for a loved one with cancer can be very stressful. When caregivers don't attend to their own needs and allow other pressures to take over, they lose the ability to continue to care for the loved one or friend. This condition may be known as burnout.

Recognize the Signs of Burnout:

Irritability. You snap at people for small things; you lose patience easily.
Withdrawal. You don't stay in touch with friends and activities like you used to.
Fatigue. You are constantly tired and exhausted.
Insomnia. You have a hard time getting to sleep, staying asleep, or sleep restlessly.
Apathy. You feel numb and must force yourself to do routine caregiver tasks.
Appetite Changes. You eat more than you used to, or don't feel like eating anything.
Increased Substance Use. The only relief you can get is from alcohol, drugs, or smoking.
Feelings of Guilt. You think you are not doing enough, or you feel resentment for the amount of work doing.

What to Do:

In order to care for someone else, you must take care of yourself. Your mental and physical health is just as important as the patient's, so it's important to recognize your limits. Be aware of how much you can do, as well as what you cannot do. You are not super-human. Don't feel guilty when you take time to re-energize yourself.

Exercise. Even if you do not have time for a formal workout, incorporate exercise into your daily routine. For example, take a walk around the doctor's office or hospital grounds during the patient's appointment.
Eat properly. Many times caregivers are so absorbed in preparing patient meals they neglect their own nutritional needs.
Read. For pleasure, or for information, reading can be a wonderful outlet for stress and anxiety.
Get a massage. Many people think that they need to spend all their money on medical bills and if they spend money on personal needs, they feel guilty. Getting a massage may not be that expensive. Many major cities have massage schools with low-cost student clinics.
Pursue hobbies. Don't lose touch with the things that gave you pleasure before your loved one became ill. Whether it is gardening, music, or art classes, continue to do what brings you joy, even if it is less frequent than before.
Practice relaxation techniques. Whether it's progressive muscle relaxation, visual imagery or deep breathing, anyone can incorporate these skills into their daily lives. Many stress management workshops and books are readily available.
Keep a journal or diary. It's helpful to use this as a way to keep track of what you are going through and how you are feeling.
Tap into your support network. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Many people want to help, but don't know what to offer. Ask friends, relatives, neighbors, co-workers, or people in your church or synagogue to help out with some tasks.
Blow off steam. Go to the movies, go to dinner, have fun, play games. It's okay to escape and not focus all your energy on your loved one's illness. They want you to be able to enjoy life.
Join a caregiver's support group. Contact your local ACS to find the nearest group. It's important to connect with people who share similar experiences.

Further Information:

Preventing Caregiver Burnout by James Sherman, 1997.
When Someone You Love Has Cancer by DanaRae Pomeroy, 1996.
The Relaxation and Stress Reduction Workbook by Davis, Eshelman, and McKay, 1995.
Caregiver Survival Resources on the Internet: www.caregiver911.com