A Conversation with Joe Torman

Young Torman family © KUED 2001

Q: Joe, why is it important for you to spend time in the mountains?

Joe: It's home away from home. I especially enjoy getting away where I feel like I'm close to God. I know I'm not going to be around much longer and it gives me a feeling that I'm ready to go. And I've accomplished a lot of stuff that I've worked for in my life and it's a wonderful feeling.

Q: Was there a time when you were first diagnosed where you struggled with a lot of fear?

Joe: No, I didn't really have a lot of fear. People often looked at me and wondered why I didn't feel worse about dying. I always had a good attitude about my life and a good sense of humor, and I feel like that is what has really brought me through. I look at so many people that are grouchy old men when they get my age and they don't want to die. I've never felt that way. I feel, I need a good attitude, especially toward other people.

Q: How important is it keeping your independence even though you're sick?

Joe as a young man in the United States Marine Corps © KUED 2001

Joe: Oh, I think it's really important. I've always been an independent person, my kids will always tell you that. Rather than them waiting on me, I want to do things myself. That's pretty important to me.

Q: So are you going to rely on other people to take care of you?

Joe: Well, I'm going to have to rely on someone. I don't take advantage of anyone or anything like that, but I just feel that if I can do it without the help of others, that's good. It's been great to live this long and do the things that I've done. Especially with my children.

Q: Do you think that living so close to nature has helped you combat the inclination to fear death?

Joe: Tremendously. I think nature has really made my life. I've always loved the mountains and the streams and everything that go with it. A lot of times I just come up into the mountains by myself and linger around. I really have enjoyed the time I have spent here on earth and hopefully it'll continue for a while. (chuckles)

Q: How has your family reacted to your diagnosis?

Joe: Well they've gotten a lot closer since the news that I had this disease. They stick by me and everything I want to do - they're 100 percent behind me. You couldn't ask for better children. They go way out of their way to help me.

Q: Are you going to move out of your home?

Joe: No, no. I'm afraid I'm there 'till the bitter end.

Q: Has hospice helped you stay independent?

Joe with his granddaughter Jennifer, and daughters Lynette and Joleen, 2000 © KUED

Joe: Oh, yeah. They really have helped me. The people they've got working, wow...they are good. They go way out of their way to help me. They have such a good crew. I can call them up at midnight to talk to them about some problem I have and they're right there, you know? They'll even come in from Bountiful or Logan or whatever to help me out. And they really help me with the service they have on their medication and so forth.

Q: So they've let you lead the life you want.

Joe: Yeah, that's right. If it wasn't for that program, I probably wouldn't be here right now. And I think there are so many people that need to find hospice and use those benefits that they've already paid for through social security anyhow. Might as well use them. The whole deal comes out of your social security deal, and they send me a bill every month stating how much social security comes into the hospice fund. I've worked since I was fifteen, paying into the social security, so I might just as well get something out of it.

Q: What are your plans for the future?

Joe: I'm pretty limited as far as planning ahead and everything, but I just want to live the rest of my life as good as I can. My family and I have our will and what do you call it -- made up by the attorney -- the legal papers and so I just plan on working things out a little bit at a time. It's really hard for me when you mention plans, to realize that I am older. I just plan on doing what I can and living it out here at home.

Back to Joe's biography